Did you ever cry and eat at the same time? It’s dangerous. You can easily inhale a piece of food on a big sob and choke. I’ve almost done it. Maybe I haven’t told you that nothing, and I mean nothing, stops me from eating. You know when you run into someone you haven’t seen in awhile and they’ve lost weight and you say, “Wow you look great, you’ve lost weight, how did you do it?” And they say, “Stress” or “I went through a really bad break-up,” or “Well, my mom died and I’ve been depressed.”
Okay, I’ve been stressed out, have suffered heart break and the loss of a parent and haven’t lost one pound. Not one! How stressed out and sad do I need to be before my pants get looser? Who has to die? Because I’m willing to kill someone to drop a pants size. If you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just practice some self discipline?” I’ll start by saying, “Don’t lecture me.” I have an ongoing inward battle between food and self-control. I love food so much that I’d like to eat to the point of explosion. But it’s counter-balanced by so much guilt, which helps me maintain some control.
I guess most people would stop eating when they start to cry, but I like to multi-task. The thing is, sometimes you’re eating and all of the sudden, some sad emotion overcomes you, and the next thing you know, you’re crying. This is probably the time when most people put the fork down. But I guess it also depends on what you’re eating. If I’m eating pizza, I inhale it anyway, so what’s the difference between how I normally eat it and when I accidentally inhale it because I’m sobbing?
Death will hit you out of nowhere. You’re going along fine and then all of the sudden something will happen or you will be reminded of something and then next thing you know you’re choking on a piece of rice, or you’re pumping gas with tears rolling down your face. Granted, it could be the gas prices. If you’ve lost someone close to you then you know what I’m talking about, if you haven’t, eventually you will. Hopefully, you’ll remember this blog and put the fork down before you choke.
Grief and sadness are weird because in the moment it feels so horrible, but you know it will pass. Sometimes I picture it like a surfer riding a wave; you’re the surfer just floating around, the grief or sadness is a big wave that you weren’t even trying to catch, but it comes out of nowhere and it’s so big that it sweeps you up and now you’re riding it and you just have to stay on the surf board until the wave dies down and you’re on the beach again. Not that I’ve ever surfed, but that’s how I picture it.
I guess the point of this blog is so I can let others know not to be ashamed of eating and crying at the same time. In fact, I would like it if you would take a picture of yourself next time you do it. I don’t think you should do it in public because most people wouldn’t understand, and again, it’s not safe. But if you do it, feel confident that I understand and don’t judge you. 🙂 Is there anything better than eating with your hands? I don’t think so…