Have you ever sleep walked? Some people do it a lot, I saw a show about it, and they wake up in all kinds of weird places like their neighbor’s garage or the parking lot of Home Depot. I vaguely remember sleepwalking a couple of time when I was really little. Did that ever happen to you? You wake up and you’re in another room or you wake up and your parents are standing there looking at you. It’s so bizarre, but I don’t think I did it past the age of five…except for this one time.
My brother and I were living together in our one-bedroom apartment in Hollywood. I slept in the bedroom and he slept in the living room. One night, and I have no idea what was happening with my brain or what I was dreaming about, but I got up at about 3am,
dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear and went sleepwalking around my apartment building. The good news is that it was the kind of building where our front door led out into the hallway of the third floor. It was a five story building. My apartment now is the type that once I’m out my front door, I’m outside. So at least when I was sleepwalking I was inside a building. That’s a little safer I think.
I have no idea how long I was walking around or where I went. I just know that I “came to” down in the lobby of my building. I was so confused. Why am I in the lobby in my underwear? What time is it? Who am I? What the fuck is happening? It was pretty scary.
I was really shaken and quickly ran upstairs to my apartment where I found the door open, which was also weird, because as I was heading back to the apartment I thought, “Oh no, the door is gonna be locked and John is hard to wake up.” Why was the door open? Did I have the forethought to unlock it before I went sleepwalking? Is someone in the apartment? Holy shit, this is weird. I went in the apartment and John was asleep. I just stood there for a few minutes trying to get my bearings and figure out what the hell was happening.
I finally calmed down and went back to bed, but not before I put three phone books in front of the door. My thinking was, in the event that I decide to go for another walk, when I try to open the door, if there is something resisting it, maybe it will wake me up. Luckily, I didn’t leave again.
The next day I told my brother what happened, and he said, “Ohhhhhh, is that where you went?” I said, “What? You knew I left?” He said, “Yeah, I got up and unlocked the door for you?” Wait, what?? I said, “It was three in the morning, and you didn’t you think to ask where I was going in my underwear at that hour!?” He said, “I thought maybe you left some laundry in the dryer and you suddenly remembered and went to get it.”
Okay, is it just me or is that strange? Wouldn’t you maybe give a little shout out to someone who got up in the middle of the night and headed out the door in their underwear? I just know that if I saw him walking down the hall in his boxers at 3am, I might ask if he’s okay….but that’s me.
It’s never happened since and my brother and I laugh about it now. But isn’t that weird? I have another story about me walking through the lobby of the same building in my underwear, but that was actually intentional. I’ll tell you that one later. Have you ever sleepwalked in your underwear? What about naked?
That just reminded me…
About 10 years ago, I was driving back to work after my lunch break. I was working in Venice at the time, and as I was driving, I looked over to my right and there was a grown man walking down the street stark naked! He was headed right towards a school too. I admit I wanted to stop and watch everyone’s reaction once they saw him, but I was already late so I couldn’t stop.
Have you ever seen a grown man naked walking down the street? Did you like it? Have you ever gone to get your laundry at 3am in your underwear?
Have a thrilling Thursday!