Crazy Ed and Being Called the “N” Word

 There was a guy in our neighborhood that we called “Crazy Ed”. In fact, we put the word “crazy” before a lot of people’s names.  But Crazy Ed was really crazy and everyone knew it. In the summer, he would always wear a straw hat with the string pulled up tight under his chin, and when he looked at you, the look in his eyes said he was either looking through you or imagining how to dispose of your body.  You know that look? The doorbell’s ringin’ but nobody’s home.

St. Alice Church - "Home To the Crazy"

He used to say the rosary really loud in church and would also do the “Stations of the Cross” on his KNEES in the middle of the aisle leading up to the altar. This used to piss my dad off when there was a funeral because they would typically wheel the casket up the center aisle of the church, but when this weirdo was in the middle of the aisle on his knees, it would force them to go up one of the side aisles of the church. My dad didn’t like this and one time he got so pissed off that he told the guys wheeling the casket to run him over! One of the guys who worked for my dad looked at him and said “Uhhh, John you can’t do that.” My dad said, “Hit him with it and he’ll get out of the way.” He was serious too. My dad had a psycho side to him which I can elaborate on later, but in the end, they didn’t run crazy Ed over with the casket, but went up the side aisle.

So my parents and their odd circle of friends went to church a lot back in those days, I think on a daily basis. I couldn’t handle church once a week, let alone every day.  Anyway, this one time, my parent’s friend, Betty, who later became my dad’s secretary, was seated next to crazy Ed in church. During mass and at the “sign of peace”, crazy Ed turned to Betty, and instead of saying, “Peace be with you”, he said “You’re the devil”.  The funny thing is…she started to cry.

First of all, everyone knew he was crazy, so why the hell would you sit next to him or not move if he sat next to you? And why would you let this nut job upset you? Maybe it was all the permanent solution she had on her hair. She used to get these really kinky perms and wore tons of blue eye shadow. Perms and eye shadow were big back then. I know this  because I had my fair share of bad perms, but I still love blue eye shadow. I wonder what would happen if I permed my hair now.

You like my prom perm? My date sucked!

Speaking of perms, here’s something; once when I was about 12, I got a perm and it was really curly and this  kid who lived on my street told me I looked like an “N” word. But he didn’t say “N” word…..oh yeah, he said it. I looked like a nigger. But with blonde hair? Beyonce wasn’t  even around yet!  Isn’t that weird, to call a white person a nigger? What’s weirder is that young white kids today think it’s cool to be called a nigger. But there’s this whole thing about it being okay if there’s an “A” on the end, like “nigga”. Does that make any sense to you? I truly believe that rap music has deeply confused the younger generation about this word. I wish everyone would just stop saying it altogether.

Sadly, there was a lot of racism in my neighborhood. People threw the “N” word around all the time, and we weren’t raised like that. My parents didn’t say that word, but other people did for sure. In fact, I used to get teased about my lips too. Yep, I got called “nigger lips.”  I wonder if Angelina Jolie had the same problem? Funny thing is; I hated my lips growing up because I got teased, only to find when I moved to Hollywood that people were paying to get those kinds of lips. I remember being at Barney’s Beanery sitting at the bar, and some woman next to me asking me “Who does your lips?”  I was fairly new to LA and really didn’t know what she meant. This was before all of Hollywood was having their lips injected on a regular basis. It’s funny how some of the things you get teased about when you’re young turn out to be a good thing.

So, in the words of James Brown, I’ll say it loud, “I’m black and I’m proud.”

This is the brilliance of Dave Chappelle. I consider this to be one of the smartest and funniest sketches ever. 

Have a great weekend Niggaz!  (that even felt wrong typing it)

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About Death To Hollywood

I am a writer/comedian that was kind of pressured into doing a blog. I didn't really know much about blogs which is why I resisted. But now that I have one, I still don't know much about them. I like to tell funny stories that are true. Hopefully, you like to read those kinds of stories. If not, go read something serious and boring.....
This entry was posted in catholic church, celebrities, family, funeral home, funerals, Hollywood, weird and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Crazy Ed and Being Called the “N” Word

  1. klpeach323 says:

    hahaha that dave chappelle sketch is classic…and yeah i kinda do dig the prom perm.

    happy friday

  2. Josephine says:

    I love your perm too! I only had one perm when I was 9. So awful I never had another.

    I completely agree about the N word. I wish it would have just faded away completely. It is funny how I never heard it when I was a kid even before or during the Civil Rights movement but now it is everywhere!

    Did you have identity confusion when people called you that? Maybe people called Crazy Ed an N and that’s why he was crazy. 🙂

  3. Mr Maryknoll says:

    That stuff about crazy Ed in church was hysterical. John told me some of those stories but never told me he was going to run him down with a casket.That’s even funnier.
    Was that sketch ever on TV?? Can’t imagine that.

  4. Kris says:

    I agree on the “n” word….i hate it and i even hate when black or white people use it! Who was the prom date….can’t remember?? Love your hair, hope you win:) crazy Ed was so entertaining… He was like a ticking time bomb…..knowing dad, he probably thought crazy Ed planned the timing of the Stations of the Cross to piss him off:) Funny!!!!!

  5. mdonohue says:

    Celeste,,You are so pretty,and the stories bring backk a lot of memories for me.Thanks,love,Mom

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