Samantha Brick – Check Yourself, You Wrickety Wreck (Yourself)

I was all prepared to write about “Good Friday” until I saw this article on the internet – it’s some broad complaining about how hard it is to be pretty. Jesus Christ! I had no choice but to respond to it. First of all, here is the article (you might want to read it first before you read my response to it)

Don't hate me because I'm not that beautiful!

As you know, my darling readers, I live in Los Angeles – home of the beautiful people, and I do mean beautiful, albeit, dumb as a rock, but definitely beautiful, and the last thing ANYONE would complain about in this city is that they’re  “too pretty.”

What chaps my ass about this dumb broad’s article is she acts as though it’s harder to be pretty than ugly.  She’s complaining that women have been mean to her and she’s never been a bridesmaid. BOO FUCKING HOO!  First of all, being a bridesmaid kind of sucks anyway, being that it’s expensive and the dresses that the bride picks are usually ugly, but more importantly, is it really so much harder to be pretty? What about women who look in the mirror and wish for a different nose, eyes, mouth, or a different face altogether? Has she never seen an episode of “The Swan?” And she has the balls to complain that life is hard because she’s pretty?  FUCK YOU! And by the way, she’s not that pretty. She has  crooked British teeth and stringy hair…but that’s beside the point.

The point is, if you have been blessed with good looks, and that’s all it really is, being  blessed with good genes, then be grateful and keep your stupid pie hole shut! How dare you complain that women don’t like you because of your looks. That’s like celebrities crying about the paparazzi being up their ass. It’s part of the job, deal with it!  How about a little gratitude and humility? A young girl I work with recently mentioned that it bothered her that men whistled at her when she walked down the street, and I said, “Be grateful they’re whistling now  because at some point, they’ll stop whistling.”

It’s almost like complaining that you’re rich….”mo, money, mo problems” (as Biggie said), well then give me MO PROBLEMS! If being pretty or being rich is actually something you take the time out to write and complain about then just go ahead and kill yourself because the world doesn’t need you. There are way too many ugly, poor people who wish they had those problems, so go fuck yourself Samantha Brick! You ain’t all that!

Maybe women are mean to you because of your shitty personality, did you ever think of that? Maybe it’s not your looks after all, maybe you suck as a person.  Have you ever heard a supermodel complain that it’s hard being pretty? No, because they know they’re lucky. Do they complain that they’re thin? No,  because they can’t be thin enough. In fact, it’s the ones that say they can eat whatever they want and still remain thin that deserve to be killed, but that’s another topic altogether.

Anyway, if super models aren’t complaining about being pretty, then you shouldn’t either…NO ONE should. Being pretty is luck, that’s it, and if you complain about being lucky…then do us all a favor and shoot yourself in your not that pretty face.  Too much?  Too soon?  Too bad. That’s how I feel.


About Death To Hollywood

My name is Celeste Donohue and I am a writer/comedian who started this blog to tell stories about my life growing up in a funeral home and my adult life which I have spent in Hollywood, California – hence the name, “Death To Hollywood”. Hopefully, you like to read those kinds of stories. If not, go read something serious and boring.....
This entry was posted in celebrities, death, Hollywood, weird and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Samantha Brick – Check Yourself, You Wrickety Wreck (Yourself)

  1. barskii says:

    All Samatha has to do to correct Her problems is go to the Bank – how hard is that????

  2. barskii says:

    Wow wordpress carded me??

    as I was saying She can go to the bank and get a sack of new nickels, and let someone bash her pretty little face in….
    All problems solved – people will gather around her (her new friends at the Hospital) and ask how stupid and ugly are you going for!!!

  3. Josephine says:

    You forgot to mention the forehead you can land a plane on, the piggy nose and the chubby knees. Meow, meow.

    I agree with everything you said. I don’t want to hear complaints because someone has good fortune. That is just dumb.

  4. John Donohue says:

    I like that she said: “she very rarely succumbs to chocolate!” Hahahaha!!! What a dick!!!!! What strength she has!!!

  5. meg white says:

    sorry, is the author the one in the picture? IMHO she wandered too long in the ugly forest. i could play ice hockey on that forehead. just sayin;.

  6. Cissie donohue alias Mom says:

    She’s got to be kidding,or she doesn’t know very much.I wonder what she would say if she saw how pretty you are,and you don’t moan about it,do you.Ha,ha love,Mom

  7. Susie says:

    This woman has to be on acid, please tell me no is that stupid! and if she really feels that way she should keep it to herself …..small minds=who cares about your problems….and she is not that pretty. I think she gets all the free booze another way …wink wink

  8. Kris says:

    This is all so funny!!!! What an idiot…..stringy hair, crooked rat teeth and crazy eyes…. to mention a few. She needs to get a life and a new husband:)

  9. barskii says:

    WOW !!! (I saw her in an interview yesterday and figured it out)

    She is a Meth Addict and She is the new world angel of Confusion.

    mirror mirror broken on the floor
    I am the pretiest on the wall.

  10. The elder sister says:

    If that’s all she has to worry about or think about then she truly is lucky, or is it superficial?……

  11. Peggy Lee says:

    Maybe she IS a hottie in her corner of the world.
    I think she looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and banged every guy on the way down!

  12. WitchHazel says:

    Fuck her, indeed. I read this article last week and my jaw hit the floor. She needs to take a 2nd look in the mirror, because as you pointed out, the bitch isn’t all that. The nerve.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s