I’ll be in church for three hours on my knees doing the Stations of the Cross!
You know I’m lying. I haven’t been to church in almost a year and that was only because of my dad’s funeral service, because before that, I think the last time I was in church was for my sister’s wedding and she’s been married for about 10 years. That’s what Catholicism did to me; to this day I hate going to church. Now, maybe if I was Black and had grown up in one of those fun churches where they have bands and gospel singers wailing “Oh Happy Day,” then maybe things would be different, but being Black just wasn’t in the cards for me.
The other problem with church is paying attention to whatever the priest is saying. No can do! It’s much more fun to people watch than listen to a religious “authority” tell me something Bible related. I don’t even get the Bible. Nor do I get Shakespeare. Did you ever read the Book of Exodus? The whole thing is like a bad acid trip. Moses seeing God in a burning bush? Wandering around a place the size of New Jersey for 40 years? That’s a group of people on drugs.
Crossing the Red Sea? My guess is that Moses was wasted, had a hallucination that God parted it, and then he and a bunch of other people crossed it and he just wrote it down. You know, Freud recorded a lot of his behavior while on cocaine, so maybe it was something like that, since they say that Moses was the author of Exodus (well, they used to say that anyway).
I think my favorite part of Exodus is how God wrote the Ten Commandments with his own finger. I realize they didn’t have ballpoint pens back then, but somehow God writing with his finger like a two year old, just doesn’t wash with me.
Anyway, how did I get off topic? This is about Good Friday and me having off from work….and about Jesus hanging on the cross for three hours. When we were little (on Good Friday), my mom would make us stay in the house between 12-3 and we couldn’t do anything. She wouldn’t let us watch TV or anything like that. And we had to be quiet, as if we weren’t already forced to do that enough thanks to the stinkin’ funerals. Three hours was like three weeks! It was such bullshit. This was after doing the Stations of the Cross every Friday during Lent. And this was all a build up to Easter…but at least there was candy and the Easter Bunny when Jesus came out of the grave, and there had to be some payoff after all that.
I was wondering what the Easter Bunny and eggs had to do with Jesus rising from the dead. It turns out that the bunny and eggs have Pagan roots. Way back in the 13th century in Germany, people worshipped some goddess of fertility and her symbol was the rabbit because of their fertility rate.
“Spring also symbolized new life and rebirth; eggs were an ancient symbol of fertility. According to History.com, Easter eggs represent Jesus’ resurrection. However, this association came much later when Roman Catholicism became the dominant religion in Germany in the 15th century and merged with already ingrained pagan beliefs.” – Discovery.com
So there it is. I hope everyone has a Happy Easter and all of you have a new bonnet with all the frills upon it to wear….