Chimpanzee and Aids

Hi readers!

I apologize for my complete lack of blogs this week but on Sunday I had a sore throat and by Tuesday it had turned into a full-blown cold so I haven’t been feeling well at all, but having a full-blown cold is still a lot better than having full-blown aids.

You know, I always found it odd that people refer to it as “full-blown aids.” Why not just aids? It’s not like you ever hear someone say they have half-blown aids, and you never hear anyone say they have full blown cancer or full blown diabetes. Right? I’m just wondering…or maybe people do say that and I just don’t know those people and their full-blown diseases. By the way, I’m not making fun of anyone who has full-blown anything, unless they have a full-blown dual pump system which is something I heard a grease monkey brag about once.

Speaking of monkeys, Disney Nature is releasing the movie Chimpanzee on Earth Day, which is tomorrow for those of you who don’t give a shit about the environment. I’m so excited to see it. Disney Nature puts out excellent films like Oceans and African Cats, and this is bound to be good. Look at the success of “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” and those weren’t even real apes! This is a documentary about “Oscar” the orphan chimp and  some other big chimp that finds him and acts like a parent to him or something like that.

I think we like to watch monkeys because we’re so much like them…still…even after all these years. I bet a monkey could work an Iphone.

By the way, if you’re one of those people that feel the need to distinguish between chimps and monkeys, then I should tell you that I don’t care about your needs. I know that monkeys have tails and chimps don’t and that monkeys are closer to animals and chimps are closer to humans…blah blah blah…I know, but you have to admit that a monkey working an Iphone sounds funnier than a chimp working an Iphone, so let it go. I just think monkey is a funny word…and so is weiner.

Since I brought up aids and chimps in the same post, I couldn’t go without mentioning the old rumor about how aids got started because someone had sex with a monkey. Granted, it was the 80’s, cocaine was rampant and I imagine things got pretty wild, but c’mon! Sex with a monkey?

But then again, I recently saw this documentary called Project Nim about a family who raised a baby chimp as one of their children and the human mother BREAST FED the baby chimp!

I could go on and on about the stupidity of humans that treat chimps like people until their face or balls get ripped off, but we’ll get into that later. Have we really evolved that much? Sometimes I think not….

Have a full-blown day! 🙂

About Death To Hollywood

My name is Celeste Donohue and I am a writer/comedian who started this blog to tell stories about my life growing up in a funeral home and my adult life which I have spent in Hollywood, California – hence the name, “Death To Hollywood”. Hopefully, you like to read those kinds of stories. If not, go read something serious and boring.....
This entry was posted in celebrities, family, Hollywood, weird and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Chimpanzee and Aids

  1. meg white says:

    classic, celeste!

  2. The elder sister says:

    I always heard Aids was started from a monkey bite! Eeeewww either way!

  3. barskii says:

    I think the monkey was the blue tail monkey in Cuba in the 30’s – 50’s that had sex with Humans as a show for the wild rich perverts – is where the aids came from – also they clamped monkey heads into a table and cracked their head open and ate monkey brains – while they were still alive – it used to be anything goes in Cuba – Movie Stars, super rich, and weirdness????
    but to stay with the funny things – Monkey – Anthony Weiner & Full Blown Aids !!!!!

  4. barskii says:

    last comment for today –
    Please Get Well and “Stay Healthy & Beautiful”
    Ms Celeste
    Be Sweet Little Woman!
    ~ B ~

  5. Susan says:

    OK, so I loved this post, but for the sake of spreading information, “full blown aids” means that the HIV virus has become active in the body, instead of just hanging around dormant as with HIV+ patients.

    Also, it probably came from exposure to simian (ape or monkey) blood that was infected with a similar virus, which mutated to survive in humans. (And even though we didn’t realize it til the 80s, it’s been around for centuries.)

    Love your blog!!

    • Thanks Susan! I did know that it’s been around for centuries, about 32,000 years to be exact and I also know why they call it “full blown aids” but I always found it funny because it seems to be the only disease anyone uses that phrase for. Anyway, now that we straightened that out and enlightened everyone….have a great weekend 😉

  6. Kris says:

    The only thing i want right now is a “full blown” glass of wine!
    Love the post and yes, monkey is a funny word………

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