Let’s start with the simple questions: Were you breast fed, and were you old enough to remember suckling your mom’s teat? For chrissake, I hope not. Let me start by saying I have nothing against breast feeding, after all, that’s what are boobs are for. Well, that and getting men to pay attention to you….
Just kidding, you know that right? Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton would bitch slap me for that.
I also have no problem with women breast feeding in public, provided they’re discreet about it, but being on the cover of Time magazine while your kid is looking right at the camera is not exactly what I call discretion. At least pull a Michael Jackson and put a decorative, costume party mask on him so he’s not immediately recognizable, and so that when he reaches school age, the other kids don’t point and say “Hey, that’s the kid that was on the cover of Time with his mom’s tit in his mouth.” Good luck kid! Poor thing.
Look, we all know that men like to breast feed their whole life, but don’t you think they should take a break from it between say, the ages of 1 and 16? And when they pick it back up in their teens, hopefully it’s with another teenager and not their mom.
You know what else? I’m tired of the whole “super mom” attitude, as if being a mother is the most important thing in the world and that childbirth is a “miracle.” Just for the record, this is the definition of a miracle: “an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.”
Granted, pushing another human being out of your vagina is definitely not an easy task I’m sure, but it’s not a freakin’ miracle.
IF CHILDBIRTH WAS A MIRACLE, THE WORLD WOULDN’T BE OVERPOPULATED! Get it? If childbirth was miraculous, I don’t think we’d need Plan B.
Anyway, I named this post “SUCK IT” and it just so happens to coincide with my last day at a job that I don’t like. I would love to yell “SUCK IT” as I walk out the door for the last time, but I’m afraid someone might take it literally and pull my shirt off and just start suckling.
Just one question; when this kid grows up, do you think he’ll be a boob or an ass man?
I have to go eat my cereal now….TODAY IS FREEDOM FRIDAY FOR ME!! Let’s celebrate and I hope you have a great weekend.
p.s. suck it! 🙂