Sorry for the lack of posts this week, I’ve been preparing for my yard sale tomorrow that won’t be in yard, but on a corner, at an intersection. I love having yard sales, although kind of a pain in the ass, I love getting rid of stuff and selling my crap to others. It’s the perfect time because the weather has been so nice, but I know summer is just around the corner and you know what that means? A lot of freakin’ maintenance is what it means.
More shaving, more pedicures, self-tanning, self-starving. I don’t like summer, it’s too much work and I despise hot weather. In fact, the ONLY thing I like about summer is swimming, except my building doesn’t have a pool, which means if I want to go swimming, I have to go to a public pool and swim in other people’s pee. But I guess my hatred for the hot weather is more than my hatred of swimming in pee, so I do it. I go to the public pool. It’s a nice Olympic size pool and they rope off lanes to do laps in the deep end, which I believe is a little further away than most of the pee in the shallow end where the kids are. At least that’s what I tell myself.
You might ask, “You live in Southern California, why don’t you just go swimming at the beach?” Because the ocean is filthy. A couple years ago, 100,000 people got sick over the course of the summer from swimming in the water off the beaches of Socal. They got gastrointestinal ailments, which most likely means diarrhea. No thanks! I can get that without swimming in the ocean.
The beach is only good if you want to lay in the sun. Don’t get me wrong, if I lived closer, I’d be at the beach all the time, but it’s such a hassle to get from the Valley to the West side that it becomes a special occasion to go to the beach. I used to love to lay in the sun until I was burnt to a crisp. As a teenager and young adult, I’d lay there for hours until I looked like this:
We’ve all seen her by now, right?
Anyway, I wear sun block now and use self tanner because I can’t bear summer without a tan, but we all know we’ll get cancer and our skin will fall off if we stay in the sun for longer than 10 minutes at a time.
Don’t you find it ironic that white people love to be tan and try to get their skin darker to the point of tanning booths and spraying it on, and yet black people have suffered at the hands of white people for years just because their skin is darker? I always found that so interesting. Racism is clearly idiotic.
Anyway, back to the maintenance. I’m so jealous that men don’t have to do the same kinds of things that women do to look their best. No shaving, no foot care (why don’t men take care of their feet?), they don’t have to wear makeup or fix their hair or use toilet seat covers, not to mention the obvious reasons like periods and babies. And to prove that being a woman is much more challenging (to say the least), just ask one man if he would rather be a woman than a man….and there’s your proof.
Side note: I think it should be a law that men have to have a pedicure four times a year.
I would love to be a guy, aside from the penis and balls. But that’s just an outsider looking in, what do I know? Luckily I don’t have that package to deal with. I got my own problems…like faking my tan.
I hope all of you have a splendid weekend ! 🙂
I almost forgot…. I watched the premiere of The Bachelorette the other night, and at the end of the show, four guys were eliminated (I think it was four). Anyway, one of them CRIED! You know how I love when reality contestants cry. And of course, he cried because he was hoping to find true love with this broad he met for 10 minutes. WOULDN’T YOU CRY TOO???? 😀