Cocaine and Cloacas

Yes!  It’s Friday and I can’t wait to get hammered tonight! Just kidding…kind of. I just posted the testimonials page. Go ahead, click on it and read!

I did not pay these people to write their nice words, I didn’t bribe them with candy, nor did I promise any kind of sexual favors. They wrote what they wrote because they ate the candy and liked it.

Cee, got any coke?

Meanwhile, my sister is on a plane on her way to LA. For those of you who have been reading along for awhile, this is the same sister who loves to snort cocaine off the asses of hookers. You would never think such a junkie would be coming here to win an award for being one of the best sales people in the company she works for, but maybe all that coke is what gives her the energy to be so good at sales.

Okay, we all know she doesn’t really snort coke off hookers asses, but there’s a first time for everything. The truth is, she is winning an award and I’m gonna be there to see it. The company she works for rewards their top sales people by sending them to a lavish resort in Palm Springs, where they wine and dine you for four days and guess who’s going with her to get drunk and lay by the pool?

So, with that being said, I have been busy cleaning and preparing for her arrival. I just cleaned up two eggs off the floor that I dropped. Eggs are so gross that I was actually gagging while I was cleaning it up. I scooped them into a dust pan. Did you ever try to clean eggs off something? It’s so disgusting. I can’t believe we eat them. I told you in another post that eggs come out of a chickens vagina/anus combo called a cloaca.

GAG!

Have a great weekend!!!  😀

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About Death To Hollywood

I am a writer/comedian that was kind of pressured into doing a blog. I didn't really know much about blogs which is why I resisted. But now that I have one, I still don't know much about them. I like to tell funny stories that are true. Hopefully, you like to read those kinds of stories. If not, go read something serious and boring.....
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4 Responses to Cocaine and Cloacas

  1. Kris says:

    Hahahaha…..can’t wait to see you, Cee! I also can’t wait for the cocaine and hookers….you know me so well:) Love that word cloaca!!!! Eggs are disgusting….they gross me out too:) See you soon….

  2. Mr Maryknoll says:

    I, personally,think that there are few things in this world more atractive than a well made up cloaca. Of couse, that’s just me..

  3. Mr Maryknoll says:

    That’s 2 T’s.

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