Jesus Wouldn’t Like Reality TV

I GOT NOTHIN’

I’m sitting here looking at the blank page wondering what to write about and nothing is coming to mind. Not a funeral story, not a Hollywood story, not even a funny anecdote about some moron celebrity. And yet, I feel a pressure to write because I know I have “followers,” which means you, readers.

Then I start thinking about how Jesus had followers, but not the internet, so he had a very small following (12 wasn’t it?). But as we know, his following became huge as the years went on and he’s still got plenty of them, even after all these years. I think his popularity exploded once  people started hearing about how he changed water into wine. With that ability, Jesus didn’t need to make a sex tape!

water-into-wine-with-text

Now my dilemma is should I write about Jesus or making sex tapes?

Sex tapes. But here’s why. Because it makes me absolutely sick that the media and the entertainment business are rewarding slutty and stupid behavior. It chaps my ass raw that  so many talented people I know struggle financially and yet, Kim Kardashian, who is kimfamous because of a sex tape among other stupid decisions, is getting ready to make millions from having a bastard child! (Nothing against unwed couples, I just wanted to call her baby a bastard).  And some dumb teenager who had reality show about being pregnant at 16 just sold her sex tape for a million dollars and is now getting a new TV show where she will make even more money. You need absolutely no talent anymore to be on TV and make a shit ton of money, just ask Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who was on that show Survivor and now she’s getting paid plenty to contribute her stupid, conservative, religious crap on imagesThe View.  Do you see how wrong it is? Although The View is wrong no matter who’s on it.

The real problem isn’t Jesus though or even Elizabeth Hasselbeck, even though I do consider her a societal problem, it’s that reality TV has taken over, and a majority of it is shit, and Jesus wouldn’t like reality TV….except for maybe “America’s Got Talent” because we all know Jesus likes America better than all the other countries. But aside from that, it has put real writers and actors out of work while Honey Boo Boo is making $20,000 an episode.  The mother on that show has dirt in the fat creases in her neck! You would think someone making $20,000 per episode might put some soap on the shopping list.

bo boo

20,000 could buy a lot of soap! and a lot of corndogs…

Keeping Up With the Kardashians, The Real Houswives of Beverly Hills, Orange County, Atlanta, New Jersey, Miami, The Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, The Bachelor (which you know I’m guilty of but can’t resist the crying girls), The Bachelorette, The Hills….and the list goes on and on. But the point I’m making is that Jesus wouldn’t like this. He would not want dumb sluts (male or female) financially rewarded. He never said that in the Bible, but I just know that. I don’t  think Jesus had anything against sluts, after all, he was friendly with Mary Magdalene, the rumored repentant prostitute, but he wouldn’t like reality TV stars because they are partly what’s wrong with society and I think we can all agree that the TV executives will be going straight to hell for this.

But…America keeps watching it, all of it!  So who’s fault is it? We have to blame someone! Is it the TV executives playing on the willing-to-swallow-anything society, or is it our dumbed-down society saying “give us more idiots to watch so we can feel about our lives”? And what’s worse, is that it’s here to stay. It’s inexpensive to make and the profits are through the roof without having to pay actors or writers, so sadly, it’s not going away.

But I do think if Jesus walking around today, he would probably say “Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do…..no seriously, they really don’t. Just look at THEM!” Yes, that’s what he would say!

Have a nice day!

P.S. I had nothing to write about and the next thing I know, I’m ranting about rich, fat people with dirt in their neck…and Jesus! I hope people don’t start to think I’m religious 😀

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About Death To Hollywood

I am a writer/comedian that was kind of pressured into doing a blog. I didn't really know much about blogs which is why I resisted. But now that I have one, I still don't know much about them. I like to tell funny stories that are true. Hopefully, you like to read those kinds of stories. If not, go read something serious and boring.....
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12 Responses to Jesus Wouldn’t Like Reality TV

  1. Kal says:

    If people end up with the impression you’re religious, a quick spin through the Death To Hollywood archives should disabuse them of that notion!

    And bottom-feeding reality TV isn’t all that new. Go back to the 1950s and 60s and look at Queen For A Day: the “winner” of each episode was the contestant who was willing to share the most pitiful, miserable, wretched, utterly *pathetic* life story in front of all the USA. Audience applause determined the winner — the more completely humiliating your story, the better chance the audience would clap for you, so you could win fabulous prizes…

    And if that wasn’t bad enough, apparently the show was rigged! In at least one late-running version of the show, producers hired actresses to tell the winning stories that they had concocted — the losers told their humiliating stories with no chance of winning the main prize.

  2. mary donohue says:

    If people would shut the /T.V.off for long enough time,there would be no followers,and if p eople put some thought into what they are watching,rather than glaze over in an hypnotic trance,producers would have to develop something interesting,right,or is that too much? The off button has always worked for me,rather than waiting or hoping T.V.will change.Remember,it’s all about ratings!Love,Mom

  3. Kris says:

    OMG….hahaha….dirt in her neck!!
    Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do…lol
    Jesus would definitely get my vote for turning water into wine 🙂 I would totally be glazed over watching that!!!
    Mom’s right…all about the ratings!!
    Great Blog even if you were at a loss for material….apparently you weren’t!

  4. Paul says:

    If Jesus walked the earth today we’d crucify him all over again. We’re hopeless.

  5. Emily says:

    I LOVE reading your blog! Very fun and entertaining.

  6. Bianca says:

    I think it is disgusting how teen mom accepted to do porn after that show. It’s like someone telling her she has no other talent other than spreading her legs and she’s just accepting the money and agreeing with it.

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